“Women are told everything will be over and you won’t have to think about this again.”
Janet I was a senior in high school. It was prom night and I got pregnant. So, I went to a doctor, he confirmed the pregnancy, and asked me how far along I was — and I lied. He agreed with me and then I went to Planned Parenthood.
So, you walk into the abortion clinic and what’s in your mind is, “Just do this and get it over with. It’ll be done.” And you walk out of the door and the enemy says, “How dare you?” And he reminds you of what you did every single day.
It wasn’t until years later that I was in a Bible study discussing the life of Paul where he talks about himself as being “the chief of sinners.” Then, another woman in the Bible study said, “No, I am the chief of sinners,” and she talked very openly about how she had had an abortion.
I went to her afterwards and said, “I cannot believe you can talk about that in public. I had an abortion and I’ve only told two people in my life.” She said, “My greatest source of earthly help has been Alternatives Pregnancy Center.” She wrote their phone number down and she said, “You need to call them.”
I finally got up enough courage and called. And they said, “We have a post abortion group starting.” I went through the program and I had no idea that my abortion subconsciously had affected so many areas of my life — including the husband that I married.
I married my husband because when I told them about my abortion, he said, “Well, God’s forgiven you. I have nothing to say about that.” And I knew he would never, for the rest of his life, bring it up.
But after going through the Counseling After Abortion course, I asked my husband, “Why did you never ask? Why did you not want to know?” That’s one of the things that happens when you take the lid off. You start examining why you married who you did, why you’ve made the choices you’ve made, and why you’re afraid to do certain things.
So finally, after the counseling, the Lord asked me, “Is the cross enough or are you going to carry this, because we can’t have it both ways? Either I did enough, or you’re going to do it.” Now I totally get that Christ paid it already. And all the burden of guilt is gone. This is what grace is and Alternatives got me here.